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To the demons which have invaded my body:

We need to have a chat. I started writing a letter to my body to encourage it to get things together, buck up, and move on. And then I realized that my body is not my own and hasn't been for almost a week now. And I'm not happy about that.

At all.

See, for just about a week now, I've been playing nice, making peace offerings to my body, providing pain and other symptom relief, generally taking it easy, eating well (as can be expected with the continuous stream of maladies), and generally doing everything in my power to move you little devils along. And what do I get in return? Other little devils, it seems. We've gone from ambiguous feelings of not-being-right to wretching pain and nausea (causing more than a few curse words to escape my mouth while delirious with pain medication that couldn't seem to work fast enough)…..and onto a reverse cold (a wicked cough out of nowhere which managed to progress into my sinus cavity and then back into my chest)….and now more stomach issues.

Are you FREAKING kidding me?!

That's enough detail. Because while I actually enjoy reading (and laughing) and somewhat potty-themed discussion, a la dooce, I realize that my skill and talent with words hasn't quite made it to that level and I don't think that I can pull it off with such grace. So I won't try. For now.

Suffice it to say that I am holed up at home, sans husband, for the weekend. Waiting. Hoping. Waiting. For the little devils to leave. And when they do, there will be a grand party, a great parade, and general celebration. Maybe not throughout the world, but you can bet the dogs will be happy with homemade doggy ice cream and other fabulous goodies because they've put up with their share of moaning, groaning, hacking and wheezing. Plus, everyone else still wants to avoid the plague.

So, little demons who have invaded my body, I beseech you. This party will be fabulous. But you are not invited. And you really must be on your way. Trust me, there's not much left in the stomach or lungs here for you. Please, leave while I still have some dignity.

Love,
Me

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